Unplugged: Mindfulness and Stress Management in unusual times.

Unplugged: Mindfulness and Stress Management in unusual times.

One week into isolation and already ‘zoomed out’, ‘apped out’ and technology overloaded? 

Turn off, tune in and de-stress the natural way, accepting that we can’t control what’s happening ‘out there’ but we can, with practice, manage what’s happening ‘in here’ in our thoughts, feelings and home environments.

Some tips to thrive in an uncertain world.

1. Don’t minimise feelings  

Allow yourself to feel your feelings, these are difficult times. Your plans and hopes and dreams have radically changed. Its natural to feel grief and loss. Feel fully, grieve fully and move back to the present moment where you can make new choices based on new circumstances 

2. Don’t catastrophize

The crux of mindfulness is to be vigilant against mind wandering and catastrophizing. Write down your fears when they come up, put them in a box and visit them once a day. Make plans for the ones you can control, burn or bin the others.

3. Minimise overwhelm. 

Too much to do and think about? Pick 4 tasks and focus on them until they are done and then pick 4 more. Include rest as a vital task. If this is still overwhelming pick one task at a time.

4. Celebrate. 

Realise how much control you do have! Over your thinking, your schedule, your playlist, your nutrition. Be vigilant for YOU and celebrate your achievements.

6. Breathe 

Conscious breathing turns on the parasympathetic nervous system and helps the body and mind relax. Try a ‘square breath’, Inhale to the count of 4, hold to the count of 4, exhale to the count of 4, hold for the count of 4

7. Move

Within the limits of your body’s condition and flexibility. Dance, stretch, shake.

8. Hum

Humming activities the vagus nerve and promotes healing and relaxation. Breathe in through your nose and hum on the exhale. Do this for one minute and notice the difference.

9. Sing

Singing instantly focusses you in the present moment with the bonus of supporting deep breathing and soothing vibrations in the body.

10. Rest 

Even if sleep is difficult, rest the body, lie down for five minutes of conscious breathing or visualise yourself relaxing in nature. 

11. Unplug 

The science is out there, screen time and electromagnetic energy fields hamper sleep and immune systems. Use a timer to shut down the Wi-Fi at sleep time. Turn your phone off for set periods.

12. Touch

Hugs are amazing for the release of happy hormones. If you are alone hug yourself or gently stroke your forearms to release oxytocin.

13. Smile

Right now, as you read this, smile. Even if you don’t feel it, your brain won’t know the difference, it will think you are happy and release those happy hormones! 

You can do this

You can also watch Lindas tips in this YouTube video https://youtu.be/oHqgmZ1Zo8M 

Thank you to our team member Linda for putting this blog together. You can read more about Linda and the support she offers here https://www.doulacare.ie/linda-oflaherty

Moved over to main website blog: Obstetric Cholestasis

Obstetric cholestasis

It has a number of names : Intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy (ICP), obstetric cholestasis, cholestasis of pregnancy, jaundice of pregnancy, and prurigo gravidarum.

What is it?

Obstetric cholestasis is a disorder that affects your liver during pregnancy. The main symptom is itching on the palm of your hands or soles of your feet. Another symptom is persistent itching of the skin (anywhere on the body) when there is no skin rash.

How common is it?

Takes from the RCOG : Obstetric cholestasis is uncommon. In the UK, it affects about 7 in 1000 women (less than 1%). Obstetric cholestasis is more common among women of Indian- Asian or Pakistani-Asian origin, with 15 in 1000 women (1.5%) affected.

Iching is a really common part of pregnancy, caused by the stretching of skin as your body accommodates your growing baby/babies. However, it can be one of the warning signs of cholestasis. It is important to flag any concerns with your care provider (midwife or obstetrician). They can preform a simple blood test to rule out any concerns of cholestasis. 

So what happens if you are diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis? 

Once diagnosed with obstetric cholestasis, you will be advised to be under the care of a consultant and have your baby in hospital with a neonatal unit (NICU). 

There is no cure for obstetric cholestasis but all symptoms generally disappear once your baby is born.

Most women will then have additional antenatal checks. This will include regular liver function tests, until you have had your baby. You will also be offered additional monitoring of your baby. Often this will involve extra ultrasound scans checking growth and measuring the amount of fluid around your baby.

When you are in labour, you will be offered continuous monitoring of your baby’s heart rate. There is some evidence that it is safer to birth your baby early if your symptoms are severe. You will have an opportunity to discuss the option of having labour induced after 37 weeks. 

Early induction (before term, 37 weeks) may carry an increased chance of having interventions such as assisted birth (forceps etc) or having a caesarean birth. It also carries an increased chance of your baby being admitted to the special care baby unit (SCBU) with complications of preterm birth. Your care provider or obstetrician will discuss what they feel is best for you and your baby in your individual situation so that you can make an informed choice.

Remember to take time to ask lots of questions. It can be helpful to have a notebook and pen ready to take notes as in unexpected situations it can be hard to take in all the medical information you are being told. 

Take time to weigh up all the pros and cons and understand each step before making your informed decision. 

Our doulas are an amazing support through this process - walking the journey with you - offering emotional and physical support. If you would like more information on how we can best support you pop us an email on info@doulacare.ie 

Moved over to main website blog:Why I donated my placenta to search dogs

Why I donated my placenta to search and rescue dogs

What happens to your placenta after you give birth? Well women in Ireland have a number of options

1. Let the hospital dispose of it

2. Bring it home and plant a tree over it in your garden

3. Get it encapsulated or consume it raw (in a smoothie)

4. Pop it in your freezer to keep

5. Donate it to search and rescue dogs

On both of my sons births I never put much thought into what happened to my placentas. I don’t remember seeing them or being asked. They simply were mentioned and then disappeared. 

So with my last pregnancy I put thought into what I would do with my placenta this time. I didn’t want to just dump my placenta. It had been this amazing source of life to my daughter for 9 months. My body had created this perfectly tailored organ to help my baby grow. It provided oxygen and nutrients to my baby and removed waste products from my baby blood. I am fascinated by placentas, can you tell? LOL 

I contemplated a nice cherry blossom tree in the garden to symbolise my daughters birth. I did think it would be lovely.

For me personally, I did not want to consume my placenta. Being a doula and antenatal educator everything I present to my clients is evidence based. I spend a huge amount of time researching topics relevant to pregnancy, birth and early parenting.  With placenta consumption (either via capsules or raw) there is no concrete evidence. There are lots of antidotal findings, both for and against but until there is a scientific study done I was not willing to take the risk. 

So for me I felt it was fitting for my placenta to be useful and to go to a good cause. I donated my placenta to Irish Search Dogs.They use the placenta tissue to train their dogs in finding human remains. While this is a heart breaking situation - my hope is that by donating my placenta, it is helping a family to find a loved one and to lay them to rest. 

My husband is a Garda and we both know only too well the horrible situations many families find themselves in. When a loved one dies, giving that family closure can mean so much. Irish Search Dogs give this to those whose loved ones are missing. It is an unbelievable service provided. While this is not a situation people like to think about much, it is invaluable to many many families nationwide. 

When I decided to donate my placenta I spoke with the chairman Glen who was absolutely lovely. He was so kind and understanding and made the process so easy. He put zero pressure on me and simply said if I decided to go ahead and remembered on the day that would be brilliant. My husband brought my placenta home from the hospital and popped it into our freezer (in the bag the hospital had provided) I then contacted Irish Search Dogs and they even had one of their volunteers collect it from my home! Making it totally hassle free!

So if you are unsure what you would like to do with your placenta, please do consider donating it. During your pregnancy it was a gift of life and afterwards it can continue to give so much to families by helping to train these amazing dogs!

If you would like to learn more about Irish Search Dogs their website is

 http://irishsearchdogs.com/About.html

Glens email is glen@irishsearchdogs.com (A total gentleman)

Jen x

A Wonderful Partnership with Irish Life Health

Did you know DoulaCare Ireland have an exclusive partnership with Irish Life Health? 

At DoulaCare Ireland we offer true continuity of care and our focus is supporting families as they transition into parenthood. This is not always an easy journey, but it is one that can be fulfilling beyond words. We support women and their partners throughout pregnancy. We offer continuous support during labour and birth (home and hospital birth).  We will wipe your brow when hot, keep you calm and focused. We support your partner to feel in control offering them tips and tricks too. We stay by your side, after birth. We go to your home. We nurture you as you find your new normal We cook home cooked meals, catch up on laundry, keep the house running so as new parents our clients can slow down and enjoy those early days. We offer evidence based information. We are an independent support person, without the same emotional attachment a family member can have - meaning unbiased care. We pass on years of knowledge around pregnancy, birth and parenting. Helping our clients to make informed decisions about their care and that of their baby/babies.

We don’t want our clients to. drift through their pregnancy, unsure of their options and frightened of their birth.

We don’t want our clients to muddle through in a sleep deprived fog in those early weeks of parenting.

We want them to feel supported, heard and validated.

We want them to feel cared for, safe and confident.

We ensure our clients thrive in every aspect of this journey, not just survive! 

We chose to partner with Irish Life Health for their forward thinking and family centred plans. They have a huge focus on well being (physical, emotional and mental) which we felt sits with our own ethos. What makes Irish Life Health different to other insurers is that their support doesn’t end when you leave hospital. They know that becoming a parent is a life-changing journey that goes far beyond your hospital stay. Their benefits are there to support you emotionally and physically every step of the way.

Irish Life Health can help you access the support you need for whatever stage you’re at on your parenting journey. They have created an incredible Maternity and Parenting Path package. With DoulaCare Ireland you can now claim up to €200 off Birth Doula support plus up to 18 hours Postpartum Doula support in your home to set you up for success!* 

This is all available exclusively with DoulaCare Ireland. Irish Life Health only work with our Doula Agency.  Why choose Doulacare Ireland above an independent doula? 

Because DoulaCare Ireland are a professional national doula agency. 

• Our doulas are the only doulas in the country that are Garda vetted for their role. 

• All of our doulas carry insurance. 

• All of our doulas are trained by a reputable organisation. 

• All of our doulas attend a minimum of 3 CPD days per year.

• All of our doulas have access to mentorship & counselling sessions if required.

• All of our doulas have opportunity to debrief.

• All of our doulas sign up to a code of ethics.

• All of our doulas know their scope and practice within this at all times.

• All of our doulas are passionate and caring. 

• Mary and Jen are two of the most experienced doulas in their fields and bring that knowledge and support to our doulas and to our clients.

Our Doulacare Ireland national team

But there is more! Irish Life Health are offering their members support in many areas to ensure they have a positive parenting experience. You may be entitled to healthy meals delivered to your door with Gourmet Fuel. A midwife visit in your home. Access to the GentleBirth App https://www.gentlebirth.com A beautiful food hamper. Some home cleaning hours. Access to mental health supports with Nurture Health, another of our working partnerships. They are a nationwide counselling service specialising in the care of parents from fertility issues, conception, and pregnancy right through to postpartum and parenting. You can find out more on their website https://nurturehealth.ie/about-us/ You could have access to a Dietician or Nutritionist Consultation. You could have some Acupuncture sessions or take yoga or pilates classes and so much more!

We are delighted to be a part of this amazing care. We feel parents in Ireland are under so much pressure to get it all right when pregnant, partners are expected to know how to support a Mum during labour (without ever having been near a labour room before). We are expected to just  ‘bounce back’ to ‘normal life’ after having a baby. The big secret no one tells you is you will have to adjust to a new normal. This can take some time. With all of the outlines supports, parents can do this without feeling like they are losing control. Every pregnancy is unique. Every birth experience is unique. Everyone parents in their own way to meet the needs of their unique baby. Babies do not pop out with a manual. New parents have to find what works, one day at a time. Our doulas will be right there, offering encouragement and support every step of the way. 

Any questions?

Please give `Irish Life Health Customer Care team a call on 1890 714 444 or email heretohelp@irishlifehealth.ie to check your plan and see what you may be entitled to!

You can read more about some of these fantastic benefits here

https://www.irishlifehealth.ie/the-parenting-path/redeeming-maternity-benefits

https://www.irishlifehealth.ie/the-parenting-path/the-big-day

For direct enquiries about our benefits with Irish Life Health pop us an email irishlife.health@doulacare.ie or

info@doulacare.ie for general enquiries

*Each policy plan is unique so you can check with their customer care team if your policy is covered or you can make amendments to ensure it is included

The Irish Maternity System - Birth Trauma (Joe Duffy stories)

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DoulaCare Ireland have (like many others in Ireland) been listening to the stories that have been shared by families in Ireland on the Joe Duffy show over the last week. They have made very emotional listening at times. Unfortunately as doulas and childbirth educators we have been privy to similar stories over the years from women who have reached out to us, looking for someone to talk to. To know that women finally have a public platform to share their stories and to truly be heard is one of the positives to come out of the show. 

At DoulaCare Ireland we support clients nationwide, and of course some will have had past birth trauma. These women and their families often feel they cannot speak about their experiences or they will be treated badly on subsequent pregnancies. Those who do speak out often feel they are brushed aside or their trauma is belittled by hospital staff. 

There is very little support within our maternity service for those who have had challenging birth experiences and need someone to talk to. Many of these women often apologise for feeling upset about their experience. After all, they have a healthy baby. Shouldn’t they be OK with how things went? Everyone else seems to think they should be grateful that all is well with baby and move on. But just because you are thrilled to have a healthy baby doesn’t mean you don’t get to grieve for the birth you had hoped to have. It is OK to be upset at how you were treated during your pregnancy and labour. It is such a vulnerable time in a woman’s life and while we may be nervous about the unknown, most of us don’t think that this will be compounded by being spoken to harshly or mistreated by the people we are supposed to trust. 

At DoulaCare Ireland we work closely with other supportive organisations and refer our clients to available services. 

If you have an experience (negative or positive) within the HSE care you can leave your feedback on their site called Your Service Your Say. This information does get reviewed and will be brought to the person in question. 

https://www2.hse.ie/services/your-service-your-say/your-service-your-say.html

We feel it is important to highlight the fantastic work that AIMS Ireland have done since 2007. They are campaigners for safe and respectful maternity care for the women of Ireland and they work tirelessly on a voluntary basis to do so. If you need advice or supports please do contact them on www.aimsireland.ie

We are also proud partners with Nurture Health, who are a national counselling service. They specialise in the care of women and their families during pregnancy and the postnatal period. They have counsellors nationwide who offer space and time to women who have traumatic experiences or have postpartum mood disorders. Irene, the CEO, always ensures their clients are seen quickly and matches them with the best counsellor for their needs www.nurturehealth.ie (and some of your hours may be covered by health insurance - Irish Life Health for example, offer hours with Nurture Health through their Parenting Path packages for new families.)

Some women find it helpful to get their notes from the hospital. They can be requested by writing into the Freedom of Information Officer in the hospital attended, with Name, Date of Birth and any other relevant details. The applicant must mention that they are requesting their notes under the Freedom Of Information Act in order to receive them free of charge. They will write back  with a standard letter saying they will give a response within 28 days, before sending on the notes on. If desired and the Mum feels able to do so they can then request to meet with the Head of Midwifery or with your Obstetrician to have a review of your notes (AIMS Ireland also offer this option). 

Many of the stories shared over the last week have mentioned women being alone and frightened or not understanding what was happening. With DoulaCare Ireland these situations never arise. With our agency model, each client has their chosen doula but also a back up doula. They also have the support of our full team of 35 doulas - all fully Garda Vetted. This means no matter how long a labour and birth lasts (4 day induction for example) our clients will have constant support from a known doula. They also have the knowledge and experience of 35 doulas to tap into at any point. We have women with diverse backgrounds in our team, from women health physiotherapist, midwives, nurses, yoga instructors, antenatal educators and much more. While our role is not to speak for you during labour we are there to help facilitate conversations between client and their health care provider, encouraging the Mum to ask questions if it looks like there is a lack of understanding on their part. 

Doula support is scientifically proven to reduce traumatic experiences and postnatal mood disorders. A Cochrane Review 2017 showed:

Women who had doula support were:

• more likely to have spontaneous birth

• more likely to have shorter labour

• less likely to use pain medication

• less likely to have Caesarean birth

• baby less likely to have low Agpars

• Lower levels of Postpartum Mood Disorders

Women who had doula support had:

• 31% decrease in use of Pitocin

• 28% decrease in Caesarean

• 12% increase in Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery

• 9% decrease in use of pain relief med.

• 14% decrease in baby going to SCBU

• 34% decrease in risk of being dissatisfied after birth

We welcome the discussions on Joe Duffy show and thank the team in RTE for opening up the space for these women to share their story and finally be heard. It is shocking how many women have experienced trauma and remain silent. We hope that women will be able to find their voice, to speak up for their rights and to get the support they deserve. We also hope that those working in the maternity system listen and work to implement change. It must be hard for anyone who works in this area who actively supports and cares for women in kind and compassionate ways to hear these stories, as this is not how they would ever treat anyone in labour themselves. However, the myriad of stories from all over the country show that there is a systemic approach to treating women that needs to be addressed and changed for things to improve. 

Sharing these stories is the first big step. Well done to every single woman/partner/supporter who has spoken out. Your strength will be a part in driving change for all the women and their families who will be entering into the Irish maternity system. 

We are here to support all women and their families. Get in touch if you need compassionate care postnatally to help you recover from a traumatic experience, or if you are embarking on a subsequent pregnancy. Your voice will be heard.

info@doulacare.ie

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Have you heard of Naming Ceremony?

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A Naming Ceremony is a celebration of family and life. This is a great way to bring your family and friends together. The Ceremony is written in conjunction with the parents and a Celebrant to create a personalised and meaningful occasion. It usually includes bestowing a name on your child and declarations of promises and commitments from the parents and guide parents and other important people in the child’s life.

Naming Ceremonies can be held in the home or at a venue of your choosing but not in a Church. They are also not officiated by a Priest but by a Celebrant. Although a Naming Ceremony is secular in its origin, it is entirely the personal choice of the parents as to whether any religious content, from any faith, is included. Having contact with your Celebrant is the best approach as you can use their experience to make the ceremony exactly how you have envisaged it. The Ceremony can be either relaxed or formal. You have total freedom to create a memorable experience for your family and loved ones.

Some parents like their other children in the ceremony. Their siblings can choose to write and say a reading or poem, or perhaps make their own commitments. They may want to make a promise to help look after their new sibling. As a family you may like to light unity candles or have a sand blending ceremony, the action of doing something like this as a family can be significant in bringing you all together.  

In the ceremony you can incorporate readings, poetry and music. The most important part is choosing the aspects that are special to you and your family.  Parents will declare their hopes and wishes for their child’s future and will share this experience with family and friends.  

Naming Ceremonies will include the bestowing of a name - this is where the child is named, perhaps giving the reasons for choosing that name, maybe it was an ancestral name or perhaps had an interesting history. This marks the very first time that a child is introduced to their community using their new given name

 Guide parents are chosen to make commitments to support and guide the child as they grow and they will make themselves available should the child ever need them for advice, care, guidance or help, this is similar to the role of God Parents.  Promises may be made by Guide parents, they can either answer questions asked by the celebrant during the ceremony, or they can prepare their own promises to your child - in doing this their role becomes even more personal to them. You will be surrounding your child with loving role models to nurture them and have a positive impact on their life. 

The duration of a Ceremony will depend on how many Ceremony enhancements, readings/poems you include, a Naming Ceremony usually last around 25-30 minutes

Some parents like to personalise the ceremony to include symbolic elements such as the lighting of unity candles, a sand blending ceremony, hand and foot prints as a keepsake or the planting of a tree (if the ceremony is being held in your home).

Naming ceremonies are not legally binding and do not have any legal status, although you may be presented with a record of the ceremony as a token of the day.

Naming ceremonies can also be tailored to welcome adoptive children and step-children into a new, extended family or relationship.

My name is Carol Colman and I am an accredited Celebrant with the Irish Institute of Celebrants. I am based in Dublin and I also cover surrounding counties.  I can be contacted through my website www.loveisallyouneed.ie ,on Facebook Carol Colman Family Celebrant or by email at carolcolman57@gmail.com.  I as a Celebrant will offer home consultation, alternatively you can choose to have contact through online platforms such as Skype, WhatsApp or other video call software, but if it’s possible, I would recommend meeting  person – but as a parent myself I fully understand how precious your time is with a new arrival or toddler.   

Throughout the process, I will discuss the options to personalise the ceremony and will get to know you so I can tailor a ceremony to suit your family needs.

I am an expert in creating bespoke celebrations that people love. I can help you by guiding you through what can be involved in the ceremony and also giving some ideas you may not yet have considered.

My Special Offer to anyone who quotes DoulaCare in their contact email to me is that they will receive their Ceremony for €200 (Usual price €250)

Here is some inspiration for things you may want to include:

• A book can be available at the celebration which guests are asked to sign or write a message and good wishes for the future for the child and the family.

• Guests could be asked to bring something small for the child, such as a letter or a flower, which is collected at the start of the ceremony.

• The celebrant can ask if any guests would like to say anything about the child after the ceremony.

• A video can be made with guests saying a message for your child at some point in the future.

• Creating a naming certificate with the details of the day and name which can be kept after the day for the child.

• Planting a tree either as part of the ceremony or after at your home. This can symbolise growing as family.

• A Sand Blending ritual can be a nice addition if there are other children in the family

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So Meghan Markle hired a Doula? What is that? Part 2

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So Meghan Markle has hired a doula and everyone is buzzing “what is a doula anyway?” Part 2.

There are two main types of doula. A Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula. There are also Doulas who specialise in supporting families through loss and other niche areas

In this blog we will focus on Postpartum Doula support.

In times past (and indeed today in many cultures around the world) parents were not sent home from hospital with a new baby and expected to know what to do and manage on their own. We would have had the support of families, neighbours, friends - minding us, feeding us, helping us adjust to the changes in our lives and allowing the new Mum to rest and recover from birth and support her during the first few weeks of life with a small baby. Today we are often lacking this support and just expected to cope. People do call in to visit but don’t think to bring a cooked meal for the Mum, let her rest, load the dishwasher or ask how she is doing. The focus is often on the baby and the Mum is just expected to get on with it. However, we are not hardwired to manage in this way. We need the support of others in those first few weeks and months and in lieu of support from our community the postpartum doula can step in and offer this support.

A Postpartum Doula begins work with their client as soon as they book in. For some, this is during pregnancy (the forward planners!) and for others this is after baby is born. If it is during pregnancy, your doula will help you to prepare for your new arrival and the huge shift your life will take. If it is after birth, your doula will slot right in to your new routine (even if you don’t think there is any form of routine) As with Birth Doula support, your Postpartum Doula comes with many layers of support. We help you to debrief and process your birth experience. We nurture you while you recover from birth and find your new normal. We help your older children adjust to having a new dynamic in the family. We support your partner, adjusting to their new role and debriefing their own experiences. We offer knowledge, encouragement, information and support every step of the way - as each new day brings new challenges. Above all, we help you to savour the good moments between the chaos :)

Knowledge: Doulas are information junkies. We love reading, attending study days and growing our knowledge base. In DoulaCare Ireland all our Doulas must attend at least three CPD days per year. - which ensures the building of knowledge as evidence changes and new research is undertaken. We also learn from every interaction, with each individual client. We bring that knowledge base to you when you come home with your new baby. No matter what comes up, with your recovery after birth or your babies needs - chances are we have seen it before (or we know who to call if not).

Encouragement: Anyone who has had a baby, knows that surreal feeling of being left in charge of this new tiny human. Many parents feel “they are not seriously letting me home alone with this baby? I don’t even know how to bath him or tell if he is hungry” Don’t fear. It is normal to feel that way. The truth is no parent has the answers. Babies don’t come out with an instruction manual. We all learn on the job! The great thing is, with your Postpartum Doula by your side - you have a calm presence helping you every step of the way. So nothing feels overwhelming. You and your baby learn together, with a helping hand from your Doula.

Information: To new parents this is invaluable. The number one question we get asked… “Is this normal?” Rest assured, your Doula will have all the latest evidence and research at hand to help you make informed decisions when the fog of parenting clouds your brain. It can be hard to process information when you are recovering from birth and haven’t slept more than an hour in 2 weeks. Your Doula will give you the information you need in bite sized chunks so you can fully process it as required. She would also be delighted to tuck you up in bed, with clean sheets, after a hot shower and home cooked meal - and after a nice nap it is easier to think more clearly and have perspective on the changes in your life!

Hands-on tips and tricks: A Postpartum Doula passes on all the parenting tips and tricks they have picked up through their training and working experience. They help you to simplify your daily life. Sometimes it’s a gentle suggestion on where to keep the changing table, that you hadn’t thought of (like having a second one in that corner downstairs to save you running up and down the stairs 20 times a day) Sometimes it is demonstrating different methods of helping baby to get wind up - which can be a tricky skill to master.

Partners: Partners are often Doulas biggest champions! We help them to feel involved every step of the way. In parenting, it can be helping them to figure out how to put a baby grow on baby (which way is up? Are these the arms? We all know how hard it can be to get a new baby dressed!) It can be explaining the hormonal rollercoaster women ride after giving birth and to expect highs and lows. It can be a listening ear for them to debrief or to gush about their beautiful new son or daughter. Sometimes it is offering gentle suggestions to help them adjust to their new role and see what part they can play in supporting their partner and adjusting to their own new role.

With DoulaCare Ireland you have a full team of support. Each client is matched with the perfect doula for their needs. In the bigger contracts (100+ hours) you will usually have two doulas offering support. You have the opportunity to meet both beforehand. Both doulas will know your parenting style and wishes. This means that if for any reason your doula needs to change your scheduled hours you have the option of your second doula covering so you are never alone! Our co-owners Jen and Mary are always on hand too. We offer phone and email support to our clients and our doulas so no question is ever left unanswered.

We know from neuroscience that our brains are not hardwired to manage on our own in those first few weeks of adjusting to life with a new baby. All so often when we arrive at a new Mums house, they disclose that they feel they are doing something wrong as they struggle to cope. So few of us talk about how hard it is, that many are left feeling not good enough. The postpartum doula steps in to fill the gap. We are there to build confidence and make those first few weeks a positive memory for years to come - in other words to help a family thrive and not just survive the early days of parenting

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Meghan Markle has hired a doula, what is that? Part 1

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So Meghan Markle has hired a doula and everyone is buzzing “what is a doula anyway?” Part 1.

There are two main types of doula. A Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula. There are also Doulas who specialise in supporting families through loss and other niche areas

In this blog we will focus on Birth Doula support. 

A Birth Doula begins work with their client during pregnancy. Supporting them throughout pregnancy, labour and birth. We don’t clock out at 8pm. We are there by our clients side every step of the way. Offering continuity of care throughout pregnancy, labour, birth and postpartum. We then visit our clients at home, offering support with all those early parenting questions.. We offer knowledge, encouragement, information and hands on tips and tricks of the trade. 

Knowledge: We help our clients to understand their chosen place of birth (most commonly a hospital) policies.We compare the different hospitals policies, statistics and what the National Clinical Guidelines say. We also chat about International Guidelines and help our clients to make informed decisions about their care. We also cover the physical process of labour and birth and common things that come up. We can assist our clients to create their birth preferences for their unique journey. After baby arrives we share all the latest evidence on infant care, recovery after birth and anything else you’re wondering about too!

Encouragement: We build up our clients. A huge part of our role is to help our clients (the birthing mother and her partner) to feel confident. We are like their coach or cheerleader from the sidelines, reminding them of all the skills they have gained throughout their pregnancy and the strength they have within. This does not stop once baby arrives. We build you up again after birth and remind you of that strength and knowledge.

Information: Apart from the mentioned topics, doulas also answer any questions that happen to arise with each client. It may be they read an article online and wonder does that happen in Ireland? Or they are told they have a condition (such as gestational diabetes GD) and would like information to help them feel informed and confident on how best to manage it.

Hands on tips and tricks: Doulas are not afraid to get in there and help out. During pregnancy we show our clients different massages, counter pressure and comfort measure to help during labour. We teach these skills to the birth partner so they feel fully involved in the process. On the day of labour often doulas and partners work really well together - tagging in and out (counter pressure can be really tiring after a few hours!) This support continues on into parenting. From showing you how to change and dress a newborn (which is surprisingly tricky at first) to helping you find a comfortable position to feed in - your doula will be right there. 

Partners: Partners are often Doulas biggest champions! We help them to feel involved every step of the way. Partners often say things like “I didn’t know what to do to help my wife” or “I felt like a spare tool in a scary unknown setting” but with a Doula supporting them - they have a full tool kit to draw from. They also get encouragement and a helping hand along the way. After they become a Dad/Mam we are still there. Helping them to adjust to their new role and offering guidance on how best to support you.

With DoulaCare Ireland you have a full team of support. Each client is matched with two doulas. You have your primary doula and your back up doula. You have the opportunity to meet both. Both doulas will know your birth preferences and wishes. This means that if for any reason your doula needs to take a break (such as a long birth, where your doula may need to grab some sleep), you have the option of your back up doula joining you so you are never alone! Our co-owners Jen and Mary are always on hand too. We offer phone and email support to our clients and our doulas so no question is ever left unanswered.

In next weeks blog we will discuss Postpartum Doula support.

Until then… Doula Jen x

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Postnatal Depression, when love doesn’t come as a thunderbolt.

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Postnatal Depression, when love doesn’t come as a thunderbolt.

I was 21, and diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), on a hot June day, in the consultants room, in a Cork hospital. One minute I was worrying about my parent's car being clamped, and the next minute I was being told,  if I was ever going to have kids, do it now in my early 20s. He closed the folder and stood up, as I sank into the chair. Fast forward to 23, going out with my husband, and about four weeks into the relationship, the clock now ticking so loudly, I sit him down and tell him. In September 2011, my daughter was born. Five years after my PCOS diagnosis. A greyness descended, initial happiness replaced with fears, thoughts, overwhelming feelings. My brain telling me that I’m not good enough for her. My husband was beaming, but my heart was breaking, because, after five years of hoping, wishing, endless sticks to wee on, I didn’t get that thunderbolt. I was in shock. 

I stayed in the hospital for four days, because I didn’t want to go home until I felt ‘right’ . That thunderbolt didn’t come. Over the following days and weeks, I lied to friends and family who were enamoured by her. I was staying awake all night, afraid, and dreading the moment she would need me again. Would she be better with someone else as her mammy? I envied my husband's love for her. I envied how happy he was. I loved her, but felt that I wasn’t enough for her. What if she didn’t like me? Friends kept telling me how lucky we were to have a happy, healthy baby. I didn’t feel lucky, I felt guilty, ashamed that I wasn’t enjoying the baby I had longed for. I was lucky to find a breastfeeding support group,  that allowed me to cry, talk openly, and not be judged. It became my lifeline. I found Kathy Kendall-Tackett's book, The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood, and it was eye opening, and reassuring. Dr Andrew Mayers from Bournemouth University, has done some interesting research about partners developing postpartum depression too.

I had heard some myths about PND , and medication, and I had fears about asking for help. What if they take her off me? What if, what if, what if? I became numb, and comfortable in my numbness. I hit rock bottom in 2016, when my neighbour passed away suddenly. A few days later, at my doctor's for something else, I broke down. He gave me some options, and I chose a referral for counselling. It was amazing. A weight lifted. The shame and guilt could be put down. I could breathe. 

I now work as a postpartum Doula, with Doula Care Ireland. One client described me as “a wonderful calm presence amidst the chaos" .I am not a health care professional. I am not there to tell you what to do. I give you the information,  and allow you to make an informed choice that works for you and your family. There is no one magic cure for PND, but , with calm, clear, informative support you can begin your journey out of the greyness. I am continuously working on being the best version of myself, and it is a continuous process. Sometimes I see glimpses of how I felt, in my clients, and it reminds me that the process of being mentally well, is something we need to keep working on.

Written by one of our doulas Dee Burke. You can fins out more about Dee and the support she offers here https://www.doulacare.ie/dee-burke-1/

If you or someone you know is suffering with a postpartum mood disorder these resources may help

https://www.nurturecharity.org

http://www.pnd.ie

https://www.cuidiu.ie/httpwwwcuidiucomsupports_parenthood_postnatal

https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mentalhealth/mother-and-infant-health/#Finally,%20support%20services%20for%20those%20with%20Poatnatal%20Depression

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Moved over to main website blog:Adjusting to life with a toddler and a newborn

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Adjusting to life in the early days and weeks.

It is important to acknowledge that it will be hard at times, but it won't be impossible. It is all an adjustment but the love you will feel will make everything worthwhile. Of course as your Postpartum Doula I will assist you with adjustment and daily tasks. Here are my top tips on how to set yourself up for success and make each day easier.

• Cook extra portions of freezer friendly meals (like bolognaise/shepherds pie/fish bake etc) while you are pregnant or if baby is here then at the weekends so you've a good supply of nutritious food to see your family through week ahead. This is also something family and friends could do to help out.

• Shop online for now if a grocery shop seems unimaginable. 

• Buy preprepared fruit and veg as handy snacks to grab on the go.

• Don't be too proud to accept offers of help and don't be afraid to suggest chores (unload the dishwasher, hoover the stairs, clean the bathroom etc)

• Lower your expectations of how the house will look during the first few months. You've got a lot on your plate, and it doesn't really matter if the dusting doesn't get done or you have to wear un-ironed clothes for a few days, or years even.

• As soon as you can, try to get out for at least a short walk every day it's amazing what a boost it is to get out of doors. If that seems too epic right now, sit in the garden and play with your toddler.

• Take all offers of taking your toddler out for a while (once your toddler is happy of course!) Granny wants to take her out to the playground? Great, don’t feel guilty and try to go too - grab a nap with baby while you can :)

• Make your toddler aware from the very start that the baby is interested in her, is watching her and loves her. Say things like, "She's following your game with her eyes" and "She's very interested in what you're doing".

• Involve your toddler in games with the baby from the earliest days, and always tell your toddler how much you value her help with tasks such as handing you a nappy for the baby.

• Have a ‘special feeding box’ Fill the box with little toys and books, colours or activities for your toddler. This box only comes out while you are feeding the baby and is your toddlers special treat.

• Babywear. Using a sling gives you the ability to meet your newborns needs (to be warm, safe and close to you) while still playing, reading with or just spending quality time with your toddler. I would recommend attending a sling meet or get a sling consultant to your home to find the right sling for you.

• Take photos, because while the days seem endless right now, the weeks and months will fly past and you will appreciate the memories ☺

• Be gentle with yourself. No one is perfect. This is all learning on the job, take each day as it comes and remember you are doing your best and that is all anyone can do!

Enjoy the madness! Doula Jen x

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Moved to New Blog They never told me about the Second Night!

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They never told me about the Second Night!

Why is it that when we are pregnant everyone has an opinion. They want to share their experiences and what items we should or shouldn’t buy to be prepared for our babies arrival. So why is it then, while we are being bombarded with information and stories of woh – that not one person mentions the horror that is night 2 of our babies lives?

Let me explain.

So the first 24 hours are bliss. We are on an oxytocin high. We have given birth, become a new family and have our new tiny baby/babies. We can count their toes, smell their gorgeous baby smell and kiss their cute button noses. All the while our beautiful baby is content to cuddle in and sleep, only really waking to eat. We are led into a false sense of smugness...that yes I have the perfect baby. This parenting lark is amazing.

Then, as the sun sets on day 2 our beautiful sleepy baby disappears and seems possessed with a different baby spirit, who does not sleep, cuddles/rocking and singing don’t help and they never seem to be full.

This is where it can so easily go wrong. Doubt creeps in. Do I not have enough milk? Is my baby starving? Why won’t he stop crying? He keeps fussing at the breast, does he not want me?

The answer is, your baby is doing EXACTLY what he should be doing! Don’t worry – it is nature driving him to behave like this and it will be over soon.

So what is going on? Well on day one your baby was sleeping off the birth. Remember you and your baby were a team, going through labour and birth together. They are tired too. Not only that but it can be a shock to their system, entering our crazy world from the cosy and safe surroundings of your tummy.

Your baby has to breathe for the first time. Regulate their own body temperature, feel hunger & eat. They are hearing, seeing and smelling so much more. Your babys senses are on overload. However, on night two they have had time to settle in, get used to their surroundings. They have slept off their birth and now nature is telling them they have an important job to do – get your milk supply in so they have a food source. So how can a new baby do that? They can feed like crazy, signalling to your body they have mastered suck, swallow & breathe and are ready to take on bigger volumes.

This does not mean your baby is starving and needs bottles. It does not mean your baby wants someone else. Your baby is being driven by instinct to help your milk come in. Plus lets not forget – you are their home! You have been their whole world since the second they were created, you are where they want to be.

“Nothing an infant can or cannot do makes sense, except in the light of mothers body”

Dr Nils Bergman

Help your baby by keeping them close. Your body will keep them warm. Your heartbeat is the most familiar sound in the world. Your breasts will make the perfect amount of milk for them as they grow. Follow your babys signals, don’t watch the clock. You both know what to do if you can switch off your thinking brain ;)

So batten down the hatches. Prepare for it. Stock up on food and snacks that can be eaten with one hand and have them at easy reach. Charge up your phone or tablet to have something to keep you sane at 3am. Take a few naps when you can with baby (yes the old tale of sleep when baby sleeps is turu, but also important for survival!) But above all, enjoy it. No I am not insane. Your baby is only this size once. You only have this moment in time once. While it may not be picture perfect, it is your new normal and it is amazing. Be in awe of your body for creating this little human being. Be proud of yourself for getting through your first 24 hours as a parent. Watch in amazement as your baby feeds from your breasts. You are a goddess right now.

So hold your baby. Feed your baby. Feed yourself! And (yes I am going to say it)

This too shall pass.

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